Newbie 911

[livestrong21]

good morning :)

Some of you might have read my first post in the intro section...for those who didn't I'm 19, and im just getting my foot in the figure door. I was a spectator at my first show yesterday, it was small but it was still exciting, I just wanted to be on stage so bad!!

Anyways...I've gotten myself into a bit of a pickle and am in need of some advice on how to get out. I don’t live in an area where there are a lot of people involved in this industry so I'm was very limited when it came to finding a coach (I made some decent progress on my on, but I need someone to take me to the next level) there was a guy in the area who had trained a few girls in the past for some local shows and they did pretty well, and a lot of people seemed to recommend in accordance with my goals. So I met with him last week and he did a physique analysis. it went well I know he's very knowledgeable and could really help me reach my goals...HOWEVER he went with me this weekend to the east coast classic, it's a 4 hour drive one way from where we live and I hadn’t really spent much time with him. he gave me a well constructed 3 page write up of my strengths, weaknesses, priorities, strategies as well as a diet and workout. I know this all sounds good so far...

I don’t want to train with him though, and I don’t know how to get out of it. it was a tough decision for me because I feel he is a good trainer, knows some people in the industry and I feel like he's my only option in the area, but he's not the trainer for me. He makes me feel uncomfortable as he's always commenting on my looks, and while most people would take that as a compliment I feel the excessiveness of it is inappropriate not to mention I don’t really take it as a compliment because unlike my physique or intelligence it's not imp responsible for. He's 32 but very immature and the whole day all he talked about was women and gave me way way TMI on his personal life. I want my relationship with my trainer to be professional but I'm having a hard time cutting ties because I feel like he's my only option and I was initially So excited to start working with him. I'm frustrated and a tad discouraged not to mention not looking forward to the confrontation where I tell him "thanks, but no thanks" :help:

[Shelly]

hey--

just because there are not trainers in your direct area does not mean HE is your only option.

your trainer plays a HUGE role in this sport (for obvious reasons) and it is vital that you feel confortable with that person from day one. he may not realize his inappropriateness, and it may not be intentional. however if it is HOW You feel, kindly say thanks but no thanks. You dont owe him anything-- and exactly as you stated it here, state to him... tell him you appreciate his help thus far but it just doesnt feel like a good fit for you. period.

good luck!

[ibarramedia]

hey--

just because there are not trainers in your direct area does not mean HE is your only option.

your trainer plays a HUGE role in this sport (for obvious reasons) and it is vital that you feel confortable with that person from day one. he may not realize his inappropriateness, and it may not be intentional. however if it is HOW You feel, kindly say thanks but no thanks. You dont owe him anything-- and exactly as you stated it here, state to him... tell him you appreciate his help thus far but it just doesnt feel like a good fit for you. period.

good luck!

Is it possible to have two trainers? Just throwing out an example and it represents no one in particular. ie Howard huddleston to train you with repsect to the workout and exercises and Dave palumbo to do the diet part.

Would that arrangement be ok or is that a conflict of interest? I have heard rumors of a competitor who will not be named do this.

[Scarl3tbutt3rfly]

If you dont feel comfortable, that is a big issue. However, maybe you just need to give it more time also. Maybe work with him for a couple of weeks and see how things go. If you are still feeling uncomfortable, then Id say you should prolly move on.

There are lots of options, even if you dont have trainers in your area. Nowadays, online trainers are a good option.

When I first started working with my trainer, I had alot of disagreements, etc. I didnt agree with certain things (Im huge into researching stuff...) but I gave it time and I realized although things werent ideal (perfect), there was alot to learn from this person. Im actually happy I stuck it out.

However, you are dealing with a different issue in regards to comfort in working with this person. And if you can't shake those feelings after a few weeks, you probably should find someone else. Like everyone else said, you don't owe him anything. You hired him, didnt work out..move on.

[foxybr189]

I can not stress enough how important it is to work with the right trainer. The most experienced trainer can still be the wrong trainer for some people. It's all about how you feel in regards to their training style and personality.

I worked with 2 trainers before I found Tracey. Both were men, nothing against male trainers, but they both said or did things towards me that made me feel uncomfortable. Tracey was a great choice, for me, because she has already accomplished what I am striving for . So I can truly believe in everything that she tells me. She is also a women and can empathize with what are bodies going through when dieting.

[livestrong21]

thanks for the input girls, it's so awesome to have a support group like siouxcountry :)

fxy...i met tracey this weekend, she was SO sweet and told me to email her if i was interested in working with her...maybe I should give that some thought

[AirHarp]

There is a reason it s called "personal" training. As a trainer we have to make our clients feel comfortable w/ us at all times. Sure there will be times where we will have differences but if my client doesn't feel 'right" around me it does neither of us any good.

If you really feel he is not the one then tell him so. Other than "TMI" he seems pretty professional and as any trainer will tell you we don't always click w/ every client. So he will most likely understand if you say some thing like: "I just don't feel we would work well together". Its the trueth and it to the point.

Remember this is your hard earned money being spent here and you are the one make all the decisions. Just like if you were conducting a job interview.

If the next one doesn't mesh w/ you keep searching or do it your self. You have enuff resources right here on SC.com

[Shelly]

Is it possible to have two trainers? Just throwing out an example and it represents no one in particular. ie Howard huddleston to train you with repsect to the workout and exercises and Dave palumbo to do the diet part.

Would that arrangement be ok or is that a conflict of interest? I have heard rumors of a competitor who will not be named do this.
not to thread jack:)

but if you feel thats whats BEST for YOU then i dont see anything wrong with it as long as all parties involved know.

[Making_A_Change]

Do not ignore your instincts. If he is being inappropriate by your standards--move on. Keep attending shows or maybe there is an online option, but, by all means, do not train or spend time with someone who is crossing the line.

[livestrong21]

Thanks for all your support everyone :yourock:

I have choosen not to train with him after much consideration. I'll be taking my time to find a trainer thats right for me...keep you updated!!:kiss::kiss:

[teri]

Good...dont train w/a trainer u cant trust or dont feel comfortable with.. and also - there r some pretty good trainers here :respect:-that can help u w/any questions etc that u have ...:waving:

[Noel Fuller]

I would be willing to discuss training with you, Noel

[kim ferrell]

Is it possible to have two trainers? Just throwing out an example and it represents no one in particular. ie Howard huddleston to train you with repsect to the workout and exercises and Dave palumbo to do the diet part.

Would that arrangement be ok or is that a conflict of interest? I have heard rumors of a competitor who will not be named do this.


for me, i'd say it could be a conflict. the example you gave is a good one from the stand point that you have to very different philosphies with howard and palumbo. just for arguments sake, the reasons i would say this scenario could go horribly wrong is that howards training is balls out from day one to the end of prep. on a keto diet such as palumbo's, you couldn't survive on howards training program. you would lose muscle very quickly. to follow howards program you really need carbs, not alot, but you still need some in there to have the energy for both the weights and the cardio. very intense stuff from howard. on palumbo's program, the cardio is low intensity for example. the weights on palumbo's program are no wheres near as intense as howards program. (howards methods are not for the faint of heart or weak minded, lol) each of them, howard and palumbo have proven methods, but you have to follow THEIR program alone for it to work.

in my opinion, i wouldn't mix protocols. follow one persons program, and one persons only.

sorry to jack the thread, but back to the original post, get someone you can deal with. noel has offered his help, there are plenty of others here too......you have a wealth of resources right here available to you. all ya gotta do is ask.

[livestrong21]

new developments...I ran into joe (names changed to protect the guilty) at the gym yesterday and we chatted for a bit, i never really cut things off with him just kind of let them linger ...irresponsible on my part i know. Anyways i woke up this morning to an e-mail from him that REALLY upset me, I called a gym girlfriend and she calmed me down a bit, but then i thought about all the supportive people on here and decided i needed some words of wisdom to help guide me through this situation.

I'm going to poat the e-mail on here...it's pretty self-explanitory and if you remember from my OP it's NOT that i question his knowledge, it's his "womanizing personality" if you will.

Jordan... I'm completely sorry for whatever I did, for you not put the faith and trust in me that you said you would. If there's reasoning, it would be nice if you let me know. I always try to start off these conversations by saying something positive... So, you do look like you filled out some!! I also feel, by looking at you today - you could probably be easily ready for a Spring show.

BUT - after the jane comment - that has to be the most frustrating and stab to the heart comment anyone has ever given me with regards to training. Nothing against her. BUt our first conversation we talked about the importance of not having a lot of different people chime in with their advice and how it can be contradictory to what I see and the methodology that I have. Again, no disrespect to her... but the only person she has prepped that has actually did good in a contest is herself. ANd her success I guarantee is attributed more to genetics than experience and knowledge. I'm the person who begged her to compete in the first place.

anywho.... I've prepped - literally over 100+ contestants in my lifetime - NONE has ever taken less than 3rd. If you're judging my knowledge and prepping ability based on someone's recent showing - keep in mind... that I'm not prepping that person and have not been for a long time. Honestly, that is probably the reason for the demise of that person's physique.... She gets advice from everybody!! And takes it!! And like you, she feels there's better advice to be found elsewhere....

If you need someone with credentials, here's some of mine: I've had 2 girls get in multiple Muscle Mag swimsuit issues, oxygen, and Muscle and Fitness for her. I have given dietary advice for a pro figure model/competitor - who has been on countless COVERS, and 3 female nationally ranked NPC competitors. I have the only client who's ever scored a perfect score in the swimsuit round of the Virginia pageants. On top of that I've had several girls who have had career's and stints in modeling and acting. One of my most successful former prodigy's has a leading role on an HBO series called "The Wire." Formerly from Lynchburg - this guy was discovered by how ripped he was. I helped him diet for a photo shoot. Most of the aformentioned people were from Lynchburg area or Liberty. I was really known as the guy/guru in Virginia at one time 8-10 years ago. I've had published articles in publications as well. I just got burnt out back then....

I'm not trying to brag, but for you to basically say that my advice is not good enough - it's quite insulting. I know you didn't directly say that, but your actions make it seem that way. What if you did get another trainer?? one that knew what they were doing... they'd all tell you the same thing - You're over training. I saw ur back workout today - it was ridiculously too much for optimal progress. Every so called "expert" would agree with me.... read any magazine article or bodybuilding magazine. I witnesses you do 6 different back exercises for 20+ sets and no telling how many more you did when I left. I'm sorry if I'm wrong, but I've sen you totally disregard all my sound advice. Anybody else will tell you the same things I've told you - it's not revolutionary by any means.... what amazes me is that you've still made progress. BUT IT disappoints me because I feel soo much more progress could have already been made...

Here's the deal - I'll stop stressing over you. You may do well at your first show, but I GUARANTEE you, that you could do far better if you ever decide to fully commit to me. You haven't even given me a week. All I asked for was one show - if you weren't happy with the results of your first show, then let me go, but I didn't even get a week?? I shouldn't have to try to sell myself to you... BUT LIKE I SAID, I had a lot of confidence in you that you could go to the top. AND I KNOW that there is nobody around here that can help you achieve your goals better than I. BUt the simple, sound advice - is not even considered in your case. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm mad, I'm not... but I should have taken the hints many times, but you denied them every time face to face - when I've confronted you on your feelings. DO yourself a favor... listen to me and you'll do better. Or do me a favor, and be honest. I can't imagine how much better you could have filled out if you've been doing what I've told you to the fullest. If you decide to do your own thing - that's fine, you'll probably still have some success.... If you work with me - it's 100% commitment. You let me know.... just be honest. BTW - I know that you personally could hand Naomi a 2nd place trophy a year from now. Your physique could be kick @SS!! I'm still amazed how ur body has responded to the subtle changes you've made. Let me know - no more bull sh!t!! No more I wanna train with Dan and I wanna train with Naomi, and I wanna train with Traci Greenwood. No one in their right mind would do that... For the life of me, PHIL HEATH only does 16 sets per workout. SO at least listen to him. Everyone today understands the concept of overtraining - I didn't invent the factual evidence. It's a fact. I wanna help you sooo bad - I see sooo much potential in you, but I'm not gonna beg you anymore. You could be a pro in 3 years. not some crummy NGA - you could be IFBB material. I've helped a couple get there and soo many others got close. I see more in you than any of them but I guess you could be my disappointment for this year. You came to me once in good faith. I'm sorry for whatever it is that took that faith away.... let me know what you decide... just be real and honest - I need some of that lately. ttyl!! -joe


to those who compete in the NGA...ignore that ignorant comment, apologies on my behlaf much :kiss:to all you girls :)

I'm thinking about going the online trainer route, but I'm really nervous. I'll be starting a journal today, so feel free to follow along, until I cant get my head screwed on right i'm going to need all the support I can get.

[AnneP]

Okay, a bit OT too but some thoughts I have of trainers/coaches / your situation.


- Learn about your own body and how it works.

- Don't change your trainer all the time (general advice). If you don't yourself know how your own body works, how can you think that someone else could do it during half year's cooperation. If you start with one, stay long enough that you can expect some good results. And remember, it is still all about you, coaches are not gods, they dont do miracles. I am not so willing to do just contest preps, because many things during offseason are so important when you plan a contest prep.

- The thing how well his/her girls have placed, tells NOTHING of his/her skills as a trainer. Give me Jen Gates or Kai Greene, they will place WELL next year. Does it tell I am a good trainer? No. But if they improve because our cooperation, then I could be a good trainer..

- Trainer / coach thing is nothing to be nervous. You are 19, no hurry. Learn basic things yourself and keep your eyes open.

- That man in insane. Noone on this planet is not so good that trainer would beg you so much to be trained by him. He needs clients/money or wants in your pants, or is totally insane in head.